You know, a fifteen-year-old girl can also have the stress and pressure from deciding what she wants to do with her life.
Well, that's me. Recently, my family has been wanting me to find a passion. The thing is, I don't know what my passion is anymore. I tried saying to them that I want photography, because, I just find it magical. But you know how photography is. My brother said it's too expensive, the camera and the lenses cost around $5000, and my mom said, "Where do get the money!?"
But really, I don't know what my other passions are. So far, the only things I'm /actually/ interested in is photography. The next goes to interior design. And then, I really don't know about singing, really. It's like, a part of me loves it, yet another part of me is lazy to even think about improving on it.
My mom and my brother are all, "You're gonna have to start figuring out what you want to do with your life, we can't always take care of you." Yes I know but, I. Just. Don't. Know.
I don't know if singing is really my passion of it it's just a hobby that I have. My mom asked me if I want to do hairstyling/haircut-styling. She wants me to do it because she thinks its outcome makes people happy. I don't know, I guess, not really that much. I'm not really into haircutting, I'm more into, you know, styling the hair without cutting. As in, braiding and tying the hairs, stuff like that. But haircutting? I don't really think so.
Then, my mom urges me to go into the science stream because she wants it to be my backup plan. My brother wants me to go into the commerce stream or known as art stream because it's easier to get jobs. I chose science stream because I have a bit of an interest in becoming a veterinarian. And places in Malaysia, for example, a small town like Tawau need vets, because there's just no vet anywhere available. Sure there are loads of pet shops and grooming shops but not for when they're sick and need help. That's why most of the people in Tawau don't have pets, unlike back in my hometown where almost every neighbourhood would have at least one dog in one of a resident's house compound.
I really don't know if I really want singing. Is it just because I like the songs made by other people that makes me sing or is it me who actually wants to sing? I really don't know. I'm not sure about art. I've always had an interest in it, but not to the point where I paint and draw everyday. I do it only when I feel inspired or motivated.
I really, really, do not know what I want to do with my life. I just...it just feels like... I don't know how to describe it. I don't know, really. Other than photography, I really don't know.
The interest in photography never really existed until recently. I think it started when I first came to Sabah. Back in Sarawak, there was really nothing beautiful, as in nature beauty. It was just, buildings and lots of clouds, you hardly ever see the blue sky, really. Until I came to Sabah. At first, everything was new so I didn't notice much of the nature. But after a while, I realize that the sky is always clear in Sabah, blue and you'd see fog instead of thick cottons in the sky. It's just amazingly beautiful. And the trees that grow so high on the hills. Looking from below, the trees and the sky, they match. And it's like, there's so much meaning behind them.
AH. DAMMIT. I GOTTA JET LIKE, OMG. I HAVE TO LIKE, GO OUT SOON. SO I'LL JUST STOP HERE FOR NOW. BYEEEEE.
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