So like, just now, my mom and I watched this whole weird alien-y noises videos that were liek the same and spreaded across the world. And liek, I'm such a simpleton to realize it happened like, months ago.
Well, some people say it's because of this HAARPS thing's fault.
So then, I said to my mom that I'm afraid to sleep nao. And liek, my mom said that she was disappointed when God didn't come on the 21st. She asked me "Do you like the world the way it is now?". To be honest, I guess, not really, but I still love nature and the sky. That's, like, one thing. I guess?
Anyway, there came a therapy session. Somewhere along the way, I said to her that I don't reaaaally believe that God will ever come down. Hey may save us, but maybe just, with another way. Like, idk, send angels to pick us up orrr send enormous eagles like LOTR to pick us up and fly to the alternate dimension of Heaven? Secondly, I'm afraid of the Judgement. There are things I would rather not talk about, about of, you know, secret sins? You get me? I call it a curse myself, but honestly, idk. OTL
So anyways, where was I? Ah yes, So I told her I didn't really believe he would come down and get us, and then she said to me, "You don't need to. You just have to accept that Christ is your saviour, that died on the across to save you. That sacrificed himself for you. Do you? Do you accept Christ as your saviour?"
A part of me says I've already lost faith in God. But I know, deep, deep, down inside, I still accept him as my saviour even though right now I don't think like that. It struck me how I was able to suddenly flow back and get all touched and emotional when the pastor said some stuff on the 24th event thing. What was it called again? Right, "The Unchanging Gift". Held in the House of Prayer in the town I live in. But yeah, at that moment, when the pastor said stuff, which I just, don't know where to start on the details of what he said, I was just, touched. I kept looking at my mom to see any action form her. (Because the pastor asked us to raise our hands if we have ever lost faith in god and we want to return now and other stuff I don't remember, we raise our hands, well, just to show. Yeah.)
Aaaand, well, I was holding back tears to be honest. xD But that was when it struck me, it made me realize, that...wherever I go, I mean, like, no matter how far I lose faith in him, no matter how far I stray away from that path, I always find myself back again once I hear words like that. And it also made me realize that deep down, there, in mah heart I do believe him and accept him as my saviour even though I, I mean, a part of me denies it now. I know that deep down, I already chose that path, long ago. And no matter how far I go, I'll always find myself asking God for help and his guidance and praying to him, believing in him.
(Sorry I just feel emotional now xD)
