Happy New Year! + Social Awkwardness

Okay, so first of all, happy new year, everybody.

I kinda, wanna let this out first so I'll just express my problem first.

Do you ever get the feeling where you feel socially awkward? Like, you say something about yourself, or the other party, or just another other person, doesn't matter if it's something good or bad and suddenly they don't reply. Or if you suddenly feel like you don't know what to say anymore.

I get that feeling a lot. Especially when I am in a group of people I don't really know. You see, recently, I got...well, new Internet friends. I feel happy to talk with them, but when the awkwardness comes, I don't know what to do. Like, if she's slow or late or didn't reply for quite some time, I get all, "Ohgosh, did I offend her? Did she find  the topic uninteresting? Maybe she's just talking to a lot of people. Sheet, I need to think of something she can relate to, to continue the conversation."

Yep. I feel socially awkward all the time. Doesn't matter if I'm in a hyper mood or not. And when I become socially awkward, I suddenly turn it into some kind of interview, like, I don't know what else to say. And this is one of the many things I experience when it comes to a one-to-one conversation.

But if you're talking about with a group of different people I don't know, then I don't really talk much, unless they ask me questions. I like questions actually, and I like getting socially involved and making new friends, it's just that...in a community I don't understand, it's different when you talk of different things different people can and can't relate to.

And when I talk I get worried all the time. Like, is she gonna get offended? Am I asking too many questions?  How is she gonna react to this?

And then, it's also something, when the other party doesn't continue the conversation. They answer you, but they just usually type in short sentences, and they don't ask questions back to you. It's almost like, I'm being an interviewer interrogating my new friend.

I try to ask 'Why' questions so they can't avoid. But, the answers are still, just short and general. It just feels like, the person doesn't really want me to talk to her/him.

Sorry, I just, need to let it out.


Anyways, let's get on with the new year's thing.

LO AND BEHOLD! MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION LIST.

1. Study hard in the Science Stream so I won't waste my mom's money on buying the books already. (It friggin' costed more than RM400. I think it was RM433.20. )

2. Improve on the control of my voice.
3. Get rid of my pimples. ; A ;
4.Make more friends, get to know more people.
5. Spend less time on the Internet that I'm so attached to.
6. Kill all the flies I see wherever I go.
7. Make a habit of bringing the flyswatter to school.
8. Get into a chorus group, if I can. //shot
9. Save up enough money to buy and ship a new pro mic.
10. Get involved with sports.
11. Be confident of myself.
12. Do homework. OTL
13. Stop procrastinating.
14. Solve social awkwardness issues.
15. Get over my writer's block and start continuing my story
16. Gain 50 subscribers and make a special video of appreciation.
17. Solve my mixing problem and my mixer's block.
18. Cover more songs.
19. Get to know moar famous awesome people.
20. Wash my hair today. xD Haven't washed it for about 3 days.